The weight loss industry survives on one of our deepest desires – to ‘look normal’. But with skewed norms and near unrealistic standards set by tabloid magazines and the entertainment and media industries, it’s almost as though we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

Our obsession with weight loss and the perfect body has festered and created a spate of body conscious, insecure individuals that are unhappy and dissatisfied with their appearance.

So what do you really need to lose weight?

What I am going to discuss today is counterintuitive to the success of my business. It goes against my role as a strength and body composition coach and may contravene other forms of weight loss advice you’ve read or heard on social media.

Why would I write a piece that undermines my entire business?

Well, quite frankly, I’ve had enough of the fitness industry being driven by salesmen and marketing gurus than actually fitness experts.

We as an industry have lost sight of our purpose and role, and instead forced this idea that everyone MUST lose weight, and has to look a certain way to be happy, and it’s flat out wrong.

Let me paint a picture for you.

A 25 year old female employs me to help her get lean and compete in a fitness competition.

She is 5 ft 8, and weighs 60kg, trains 5x per week.

When asking her what her goals are, she explains to me that due to her inability to tolerate carbohydrates, she holds excessive fat around her thighs, is yuck and too ‘jiggly’ for a bikini…

Not only does this infuriate me, and believe me, I feel partly to blame, but the fact that a female who is extremely fit, healthy and in great shape can have a distorted perception of her physique and feel such displeasure about her body makes me feel as though our industry has failed her.

Now before anyone harps on that this is only one girl, let me tell you it isn’t.

This incessant need to ‘lose weight’ and to look a certain way, is the root cause of discontent, unhappiness, insecurities and sadness in young and old alike, men and women…

 At what point does one become happy and satisfied with their weight? 

Have you ever sat back and thought, wow, I’m happy with my current weight?

In your last moments on this earth, will you sit back and say, I’m so glad that I lost that 10kg?

I make a living out of helping people lose weight, and over the years I have learned a hell of a lot about the mindset and psychology behind weight loss, and what it takes to successfully lose weight, and keep it off.

Our rationale for weight loss is predicated on an expectation or archetype that society and social media has created; that it’s instrumental to lose weight, period.

The desire to lose weight typically stems from some form of insecurity, I don’t need to tell you that. The fact that many begin their fat loss journey for this reason in pursuit of some modicum, idea of happiness, or to be ‘worthy’ is rubbish.

It’s superficial.

It’s backwards.

It’s wrong.

It prioritizes vanity and appearance and disregards what it means to be human.

What should make you happy and worthy is possessing qualities and characteristics that are admirable, not physical qualities or aesthetic criteria as determined by society.

But I’ve digressed…

So the reason you aren’t losing weight is not because you don’t possess the knowledge, have the latest diet or workout plan, it’s because you are trying TOO hard to lose weight.

By obsessing about weight, your body image and everything else in between, you are inadvertently choosing vanity over health and happiness, which makes weight loss near impossible.

So if it is your goal to lose weight, I implore you today, to stop trying to lose weight.

Stop fighting the battle.

Stop hating yourself.

Stop grabbing that piece of skin/fat on your stomach in disgust.

Stop pounding the cardio punishing yourself for eating a piece of chocolate.

Stop comparing yourself to the archetype physique you see on social media.

Stop trying to lose weight.

You see, once you rid yourself of the ‘weight loss’ mentality, you can actually begin to work on improving yourself, your diet and your lifestyle. If you are forever fighting the scales, body fat and ‘lack of discipline’, you won’t win.

There is no end.

The only way to win is to change your priorities and to throw your scales out the window…

I am telling you now that being overweight is not why you are unhappy.

You are unhappy with various aspects of your life have caused you to become overweight. Losing weight won’t make you happy, identifying and solving the root causes of your discontent will.

If your goal is to lose weight, instead of trying to pursue the archetype physique that society has etched into your mind, start to identify the cause of your weight gain, and begin to detach your happiness with how you look, and that number on the scale.


Once you do this, you will inherently begin to win the weight loss battle.


Coach Jacob



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